A lot has gone down in the last few days, so bear with me as I recap. Portland has always been a bit of a weird place for me because every time I come here not only do I feel like I’m in a completely different city, but I feel like I’m relearning how to be a human being. The granola lifestyle, and variations thereof, is so pronounced here it kinda blows my mind. And I knew this from previous experience, but it still takes a period of adjustment regardless of how much I think I can handle it. Communal living adds another layer to that and it’s something I’m super supportive of, however my lack of overall experience renders me socially retarded. Seriously. Because I totally psych myself out. It’s like if I breathe wrong, I’m gonna offend someone and then everything will be awkward and I’ll become even more of a monosyllabic neanderthal. It’s the dumbest thing in the world but I can’t help it. This world is so foreign to me and yet I find myself immersed in it on a surprisingly frequent basis. Which is wonderful and (not gonna lie) sort of terrifying at the same time.
So on Friday I rode a bike for the first time in well over a year. My nether regions were none too pleased with this, but I love bikes and Portland = biking culture so it would be silly not to ride around for at least a day. My friend Melody volunteers as a cook for a couple organizations in town, one being Food Not Bombs, which I helped out with that afternoon/evening. It was a bit of an eye-opener to see a good cause functioning on such a successful level. People’s needs are being met, albeit in an alternative fashion that shouldn’t actually have to exist, but it works. And that’s inspiring in so many ways. After distributing the grub for Food Not Bombs, I reconnected with an old college friend from my time at Montserrat who moved out here last November with her boyfriend. I believe four years have passed since I’ve seen Jess, which is entirely too long, so I’m glad we had the opportunity to spend some time together.
Saturday was an adventure and a half. Melody took me hiking to Mt. Tabor (which is really just a massive fucking hill with far too many stairs), we got coffee, we ate super good food, she showed me this sweet old movie theater that almost looks like an Arabian castle on the inside (Alison Bechdel was giving a talk, I didn’t want to leave), we went to a fundraiser for Right 2 Dream Too (helping the homeless folk build safe communities to live in), met one of her friends who bartends down the street at The Gemini Lounge (I got spicy beer, it almost killed me), and then ended the night at the coolest strip club in the world. I’m sure you’re sensing a pattern here, what with me and the naked bitches two Saturdays in a row. I’d say this is unusual for me, but I think I’d just be digging myself a hole. Devil’s Point is not the kind of strip club you’d expect. The women who work there are covered in tattoos and piercings, they have backgrounds/experience in dance or gymnastics, they’re spunky, they’re cute, they have personality, and they spit fire. I mean really, what more do you need? The fact that they’re naked is really just a huge bonus, because the acrobatics I witnessed were truly astounding. One of the girls even wore roller-skates on stage and spun fire poi while some remixed ragtime tune blasted from the speakers. It was my first time, and while it certainly won’t be my last, my expectations are now so ridiculous only Portland can deliver in regards to my stripper needs.
As to be expected, Sunday was lazy as all get out. I didn’t even leave the house until after 3pm when Jess picked me up so we could grab some food cart delicacies downtown and sit by the river. The night ended with carrot cake, coffee, and Hope Floats on Netflix instant. Sometimes all you need is a cheesy 90s romance flick and some junk food.
Finally, this afternoon was spent ogling all the movie costumes, props, and memorabilia from the last ten decades at Movie Madness (a rental store with a frighteningly enticing selection of films). I’m talking serious shit here too. Orson Welles’ suit jacket from A Touch of Evil, Tony Curtis’ floral hat from Some Like it Hot, one of the dresses Julie Andrews wore in The Sound of Music, Richard Beymer’s jacket from West Side Story, Frank Morgan’s pants from The Wizard of Oz, James Cagney’s shoes from Yankee Doodle Dandy, one of Elizabeth Taylor’s dresses from The Girl Who Had Everything, one of the wicker chairs from Casablanca, the Fu Dog from Citizen Kane, an animatronic dinosaur head from Jurassic Park, the baby carriage from The Untouchables, the list goes on and on and on. It was beyond awesome and I highly recommend swinging by for a visit if you’re ever in town.
Though technically my time here isn’t quite over, I just wanna thank Portland for keeping it real and keeping it weird. I hope you never change.
We Are the Cloud Runners 