There are moments when you realize that you’ve been thinking a certain way for too long, being a certain way for too long, and something or someone comes along and changes that. Reawakens you. Revives you. It can come in the form of something or someone familiar, known, comfortable. Or it can originate from something new. In this case it was both. Until I stepped into the apartment of my dear friend Rikki, I wasn’t aware that I’d had a barrier between myself and the rest of the world. Sometimes you need an outside source to remind you that life is not something that you just walk through. Or something that happens to you. Tonight, she was that outside source for me. Because in seeing how much someone you thought you knew well has changed, it reveals how much you have or have not changed. Transformations happen in so many different ways that we don’t always notice that they’ve happened. So I am endlessly thankful to her for opening my eyes and putting things into a fresh perspective, a fresh mindset. And also for showing me how much I missed making connections on this level. (Not to disregard those made in the past, it’s just been a while)
Philosophical musings aside, Los Angeles is a weird fucking town. Every time I’m here I never actually feel like I’m in L.A. It’s impossible to categorize, which is not a bad thing, but it also contributes to feelings of being misplaced. I don’t know what to make of it, how to orient myself, if that makes sense. Maybe it’s because the city doesn’t know how to identify itself that I have issues doing the same thing. Or that I find pockets of familiarity, to avoid looking too closely. I have enjoyed my time here immensely, but I think I rely too heavily on past experiences in life by clinging to comfort. I am aware that it has only been a week, however I also know how easy it is for me to find excuses no to push myself. This journey is a challenge, a quest, if you will, to surprise myself. As of yet I haven’t accomplished that, but I have faith. Which is pretty much what got me here in the first place.
Trusting yourself is a daily battle.
We Are the Cloud Runners 
Trust yourself. This is an outside source reminding you. 🙂
where is the like button? oh yeah….. LIKE!!
It’s been a week already? yay 😀
Have faith and as monkey says trust yourself 😛